Why Communication is Key in Dungeons & Dragons
I would hope it goes without saying that communication is an important skill in life. How important is it in Dungeons & Dragons (D&D) though? By the end of this article, I hope to convince you that communication is the most important aspect of D&D.
So, what’s the big deal about communication? Well, everyone who plays wants to have fun right? I would hope so — I’m not sure why you’re playing otherwise. What is fun though? There lies the problem — everyone has a different answer.
How do you get everyone’s answers then? You may have guessed — communication! To illustrate how important communication is in D&D, I’ll be going over a few different points:
- Set clear expectations
- It’s not the DM vs the players
- Actively Listen
Now, you may be thinking — that sounds nice and all, but aren’t things like knowing the rules more important? Well, let me say something that might be controversial — you can’t play D&D wrong. Or more accurately, who cares if you do? If you get half the rules wrong but still have fun — isn’t that what matters? Spoiler… most D&D groups don’t follow all the rules!
Set clear expectations
With any group, odds are you won’t all agree on everything. That’s why it’s important to discuss things with your group. Ideally, you’d do it before you start playing. Yes, I’m talking about session zero. For those unaware, session zero is a planning session where you decide everything from schedules to house rules.
Unfortunately, a lot of people skip session zero and dive right into the game. I get it, you just want to start playing — I do too! As a rookie dungeon master myself, I’ve rushed into a campaign before — it quickly fell flat. The campaign itself was a concept that everyone was excited about — so naturally, we all wanted to start playing immediately.
The result — each player had their own expectations, and I had no idea what they were! We hadn’t sat down and decided anything together. Without setting clear expectations — both for me and them — the campaign was doomed from the start.
At the end of the day, D&D is group storytelling. Imagine co-writing a book with 3–4 other people, and they all want to write different things. Now imagine you don’t actually discuss what you want to write — instead you just write whatever you want and send the book off to the next person.
How coherent do you think that book will turn out?
That’s the same thing that happens when you try to play D&D without proper communication. So please, even if you don’t have a session zero, take the time to talk with your group. Set expectations, get everyone on the same page.
Seriously though, have a session zero.
It’s not the DM vs the players
Contrary to what some might think, D&D is not about the DM trying to kill the players. There is no win condition to D&D. You don’t beat the DM, and the DM doesn’t win when they kill you. Some people do play that way, but ideally, your DM plays with you more than against you.
After all, the DM is playing the game too. Now, I’m not saying the DM should make everything easy for the players. What I’m saying is that everyone at the table should be having fun — including the DM. If you’ve taken the time to discuss expectations, this shouldn’t be a problem.
Maybe the players want a really difficult, combat-intensive campaign, so they expect death to come easily. Or maybe they just want a calm campaign, focused on exploration. Perhaps a campaign focused on political intrigue is more appealing.
Regardless, the DM shouldn’t be focused on beating the players — and the players shouldn’t be focused on trying to foil the DM’s plans. The goal should be to make sure everyone is having fun.
Yes, the DM does have a very different role than the players, and a lot more responsibility too. As such, it generally falls on the DM to make sure there is proper communication. That being said, if you’re a player, don’t be afraid to speak up!
Most DMs will be happy to have a player make it clear what their expectations are — I know I would be. Remember, D&D is group storytelling. It works best when everyone knows what story they’re telling. As you set expectations for everyone, it becomes easier to make sure everyone feels heard.
Actively Listen
Speaking of feeling heard… listening is incredibly important for proper communication. Not just hearing… listening. Whether you’re the DM or one of the players, active listening is a vital skill. After all, it won’t matter how much you say if nobody is listening.
Let me start by saying what is NOT listening.
- Listening is not waiting for your turn to talk.
- Listening is not being silent
- Listening is not being present
- Listening is not making assumptions
Listening is actively focusing on what the other person is saying. Not just hearing the words, but actually paying attention to what is being said. When you practice active listening, you should be able to repeat what the other person said back to them.
If you can’t? Simple — just ask them. Hopefully, you won’t need them to repeat themselves, but asking for clarification is completely reasonable. Sometimes when we speak, we leave things out. So don’t be afraid to ask questions!
Often times, you might find the other person is happy you asked. Your question may bring something to light they hadn’t considered. If nothing else, asking questions proves you were listening. It shows that you care about what they’re saying and that you’re curious.
So, how does this apply to D&D? Let’s summarize what I’ve gone through so far.
- Everyone wants to have fun
- Communication is key in getting everyone on the same page
- Setting expectations is important
- D&D is group storytelling — it works best when you work together
- The DM and the players should work together
Listening is important for each and every one of those points. How can everyone be on the same page if they aren’t listening to each other? How can you set expectations if you’re only paying attention to your own expectations? How can you tell a story as a group without listening to the other parts of the story?
The answer — you can’t.
I think you’ll find that proper communication is key to having a great game of D&D. Not just with D&D though, but other roleplaying games, and life in general. In the times we live in, proper communication is something we all could use more of.
So next time you play D&D, whether that be in person or online — remember that you’re part of a group. When the whole group is having fun, the game will naturally improve. And how do you make sure that happens?
Communication.
